5 Ways Smoking Hurts Your Sexual Health

Looking for a reason to quit? How about five?

You know smoking can up your cancer risk, but did you know it makes PMS and erections worse? Both of those facts come courtesy of an anti-smoking campaign from the New York City health department. Some say emphasizing these sexual health consequences trivializes smoking risks (what are bad cramps in comparison to lung cancer?). But I like the message — as a long-time cigarette smoker, the thing that really made me quit was worry over wrinkles. Sometimes the smaller but more immediately tangible effects of smoking can make all the difference when it comes to convincing people (especially young people) to quit.

In that vein, here are a few ways that smoking can be bad for your sexual and reproductive health.

1. WOMEN WHO SMOKE HAVE MORE DIFFICULTY GETTING PREGNANT. 

According to the American Society of Reproductive Medicine, smoking accelerates the loss of eggs (and thereby speeds up infertility). Components of cigarette smoke also interfere with ovarian cells’ ability to make estrogen and lead to more eggs with genetic abnormalities. 

2. MEN WHO SMOKE HAVE MORE TROUBLE GETTING AND KEEPING AN ERECTION. 

Trouble getting it up is linked to poor blood flow to the penis, and smoking restricts blood flow. Research has shown that non-smokers get hard five times faster than smokers, and quitting smoking also gives men “thicker, more rigid” erections. Hot. 

3. SMOKING CAN EXASPERATE PMS. 

Research suggests that smoking could make PMS symptoms more likely. In a study of  27- to 44-year-old women, smokers were twice as likely to have premenstrual symptoms, especially backaches, bloating, breast soreness, and acne. Other research has shown smokers have more irregular periods. 

4. SMOKING KILLS SPERM. 

Men who smoke have lower sperm counts, slower-swimming sperm and more abnormalities in sperm shape and function, according to the ASRM.

5. SMOKING COULD SPEED UP MENOPAUSE. 

Women who smoke go through menopause earlier than non-smokers. In a large review of studies, non-smokers hit menopause between ages 46 and 51, on average, but smokers hit menopause between 43 and 50. Stopping periods sooner might not sound that bad to you now, but early menopause is also associated with health risks such as osteoporosis, diabetes, and Alzheimer’s disease. 

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The Night I Roofied Myself

Does it count as the best sex of your life if you can't remember it?

I work long, long hours at a New York digital media property that shall remain nameless. It's a super-crazy schedule and I am forever getting home at midnight, much to the dismay of my saintly, ever-patient husband Bill. 

One night, when we had a crushing deadline and I was there until after midnight and had to come back in the office first thing the following morning, my (male) boss gave me an Ambien so I could sleep easier that night and come in early the next day. There are about fifteen things wrong with this picture, now that I think about it, but that is the craziness that is my media life.

Anyway, I took the pill on the way home, trying to time

it so I could collapse just inside our door, rather than outside. I arrived inside our apartment to find my husband asleep in bed, my dinner in the warming drawer, and two wineglasses on the counter. One empty, one full. I sat down heavily with my dinner, and as I drank the wine, I stared at his empty glass, musing on what I was doing with my life. It wasn't like I'd blown him off for dinner, and yet...it sort of was. Was this spousal abuse of some kind? I didn't know and was too drowsy to think too much about it.

I forgot, clearly, that you aren't supposed to mix Ambien and alcohol. The rules are clear on that. But I was headed straight to bed, so it didn't matter, right? I distinctly remember rolling my commuting jeans and underwear off as one unit, like a dirty rubber band, and slipping into a pair of cotton panties and a camisole top. Then I crawled in next to my snoring bear of a husband and slept the sleep of the damned.

I woke up the next morning feeling great...birds shining, sun chirping. My cotton panties were neatly folded by the side of the bed, which was weird; I’m not normally fussy at the best of times, so it was hard to believe I would have done that in my addled stupor. I staggered groggily out to the main room, where Bill was cooking up some eggs.

"Well," he said, with a grin. "That was one hell of an apology."

I frowned, having no idea what he meant.

"Last night?" he said. A beat. "Don’t tell me you don’t remember!"

Apparently, sometime after I crawled into bed, we had sex. No, not just sex: The bang-fest of the ages. Crazy shit. Bill said I was an animal. Not "enthusiastic," or "eager," you understand, but like a real actual grunting and rutting animal. "You did stuff I've never seen you do before," he said, after trying gamely to induce me to recall the night. 

I had to confess I had no memory of the whole thing. Not a single salacious detail. It was a total sleep-fucking blackout. If Bill told me I'd snapped and killed a man, or gone on a windshield-smashing spree in our neighborhood, I'd have no choice but to believe him. And though he was partly amused, I could tell he was also partly hurt that we weren't going to be able to share this memory. As punishment, he refused to provide any details of my game-changing depravity. (Bastard!)

I went to work that day still stunned, thinking, I'm pretty sure I'm going to quit. If this wasn't a quality-of-life-questioning moment, I don't know what is. To this day I wish to hell I could remember what we did, though. It was one of the greatest sex nights in my husband’s life, and me? I don't even have a warm memory to fall back on.

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